Coffee And A Date Please?
by PhantasmicGhostWriter
Summary: All Dirk Strider wanted was a simple coffee, but he got far more than he bargained for... Rated T for swearing. My gift to Natalie... Dirk x Jake and slight John x Dave


**Hi there everybody I'm glad to be back online, I haven't in a fair while, I decided to clean out my acc and start new!**

**This Fic is an early birthday gift for a good friend of mine ;) Natalie as promised... here it is!**

**A Dirk X Jake fic**

=== Be the cool guy with pointy shades finally getting your lazy ass out the door ===

Your name is Dirk Strider and you just spent the last three pointless hours mixing music, playing with smuppets and biulding another rediculos robotic contraption! You are bored and unsure of what to do with your day until you feel your shitty phone vibrate in your pocket. Someone is Pestering you! Its your Brother, Dave! What does the little shit want now!? You open your phone and begin to make pointless conversation with your young crimson eyed brother...

"[TurntechGodhead] began pestering [TimaeusTestified] 13:17

"TG: Yo big bro, get your ass down to the coffee shop! where all waiting for you man, or are you blowing us all off for smuppets again?

"TT: WHAT, NO! I was just about to go out and find something to do! I totally forgot about our meetup, sorry lill bro :(

"TG: Some shitty big bro you are and I forgot to mention your 'Eye Candy' is doing a shift today so if you wanna see him you better get your ass moving dude.

"TT: Huh, he English told me he wasn't doing any shifts this week!? What a dick...

"TG: But you still go head over smuppets for him anyway, relax he took a last minute request off Jane, she had some important crap to deal with but like she would tell us anyway.

"TT: Oh, alright... soo who else is there with you? I need to know whos gonna be up in all this you know?

"TG: Yeah, Yeah I get it. It's just Me, Egderp, The Lalondes Jake and Jade...

"TT: You are aware no matter how hard you try lill' man hes always gonna be all 'No Homo' right?

"TG: No need to push my buttons about it you douche :(

"TT: :) Did I, Dirk Strider, just touch a nerve Davey? aww poor diddums.. hahaha

"TG: Fuck off 'Dick' Strider, and no you did NOT, noone can touch a nerve on me man, not even that lill' shit cal.

"TT: Oi don't you dare dis Cal or ill make sure our next strife is your last pal!

"TG: Whatever, just get your sassy ass over here or where gonna leave

"[TurntechGodhead] Ceased Pestering [TimaeusTestified] 13:29

"You growl at Daves last comment, damn right you have a sassy ass and so does Jake...

Ah yes, Jake English the hot looking barista that is also Janes brother, man you'd like to get an order of that guy wouldn't ya?

Yes, yes enough stalling you idiot, you decide to make haste and leave the apartment and make your way to the cafe down the road praying to jegus your friends are still there.

"=== Be this Sassy Assed mans lill' brother ===

"Your name is Dave Strider and you just ceased annoying the complete and utter fucking shit out of your brother Dirk, but he knows you love in any way. You are currently at the cafe down the road sitting at a table with your friends: John, Jade, Rose, Roxy and currently standing by the few of you is Jake taking someones order he will probably go on a break soon, you know your brother is head over his own ass for this guy but you can not put your finger on why though, you talk to John about it but he goes all silent when it came to the 'Homosexual' catagorey which rather displeases you to some extent, but when harbouring a crush for this buck toothed idiot you can't stay man or angry at all.

"You watch as Roxy takes another swig from her flask she had hidden in her purse, cocky Lalonde has to have some form of Alcohol every fucking second dosent she?

"You're gonna get caught at one point you know Rox?" You say pushing your shades up a bit higher to hide your crimson red eyes which you think are a crime to man kind so you hide then from other prying eyes, you can't say the same for Dirks sunkissed orange orbs.

"Waht, nahhh Davvey Lill' olde meh, naht ah chanceh hehehe" The drunken blonde hiccups, you just laugh lightly at her pointless drinking and continue to watch her take a sip from the metal bottle once more. Thats a strong fucking smell man what is that Scotch, Wiskey or Vodka, probably all 3 knowing her! You now turn your attention to Jake he is now swapping jobs with the other barista, so hes currently down on his hands and knees scrubbing the coffee stains off the floor where a customer had been quite a clutz, you hear Jakes grunts in attempt to scrubb harder at the stain in the beige tiles, you also notice Jakes shorts are awfully tight, man Dirk would be drooling at this...

=== Be the Barista with Awfully tight shorts ===

your name is Jake English and you are currently working your fucking ass off scrubbing the tiled floor in attempt to remove this coffee stain, your knees are starting to hurt. Your glasses topple off of your face and land with a 'clink' on the floor, ahhh fucking devil dickens you can't see, you reach out your empty hand and feel around for your glasses but your hand comes in contact with something leathery yet warm, your vision suddenly returns as someone slips your glasses back onto your face for you, the leathery feeling disappears from your hand, you look up to see none other than Dirk Strider kneeling infront of you to give you hand with your glasses, you smile genuinely as he holds out a hand to aid you off your aching knees. You take his gloved hand as he pulls you onto your feet with a little too much force, Tally Ho! You would say falling, but you land roughly against Dirks...built...chest...oh...

"Thanks for the help there Dirk my good fellow" You say giving a wild grin, you try to suppress a blush but you don't think its working, Darn It!

"Think nothing of it man, i' 'always' glad to help" Dirk replies to you giving your shoulder a tight squeeze and allowing his shade to droop low enough for you to see his beautiful sunkissed eyes, and one of them winks right at you... Okay you're definately blushing like the devil fucking dickens right about now, thankfully Rose interupts the eye makeouts yelling out to Dirk.

"Yo Dirkus! get your ass over here, you too Jake!" Rose chortles out to the two of you. Breaking eye contact the two of you make your way to the table, only you don't take a seat because you have a job to do...but you can talk for a bit can't you? Of course you can! you fool.

So you finally dragged your ass outta the house bro or is your brain still there?" Dave giggles, not very manly like either but who gives a single shit, not you!

"You keep your mouth shut you little twerp ill whoop your sorry fuckin' ass strifing like I always do!" Dirk smirks but continues "Ill be back, just gonna use the restroom" And he excuses himself, you watch as he Dirk slightly sways as he walks to the restroom you nearly drool...when your cousin Jade interupts your thoughts...

"Jakey, when are you just going to open up and tell him for crying out loud?! where getting sick of watching you too flirt back and forth!" Jade growls, stirring her latte you brewed for her not long ago, you blush and stutter.

"H-H-hes not flirting with me and besides, he wouldn't look at me the same way every again" You shamefully reply, taking the dishcloth from your pocket and wipe A bit of chocolate frappe John spilt on the table.

"Dude, you seriously have no idea what goes on in my brothers head and if your gonna just sit there mopping about it, I will do something about it" Dave says with nothing but a Poker face this catches your attention.

"Y-Y-Y-Y-YOU wouldn't Strider?!" Your voice goes up and octave, now many other sense your distress Dave is unfazed by this.

"I can, and will just watch me..." He says then sipping at his apple juice.

"What ever David, you wouldn't have the 'ironic' guts to do it" You try to bulk up more confidence but its not working when Dirk pops but behind you.

"What wouldn't Dave have the guts for?" You just at the voice behind you, you blush and then brush it off.

"Nothing Dirk my good friend, now I'm going to make you a coffee, sit tight and ill be back" You say as you turn to head out the back to prepare his usual favorite Caramel Latte with a sprinkle of cinamon just how he likes it, you just pray Dave dosent do anything stupid... yeah you hope.

=== Be the brother of the boy whos about to do something incredibly smart, yet stupid... ===

"Dirk, you are now at the entrance to the cafe, you see the others at the table closest to the counter, and you notice Jake on the floor scrubbing a stain vigurously out of the tile, ahhh Jake you work too hard. You take a long good look at his tight shorts and smirk. His glasses fall from his face and his expression switches to panic as he frantically searches for the glasses that frame his beautiful grassy green eyes. You make has and flashstep in front of this distraught boy and place one hand on his and grab the glasses with your other, placing them on his face gently, he looks up at you and smiles thanking you for the help, the both of you converse for a little until Rose calls the both of you over. You exchange light chat then you abscond to the bathroom, your phone had also vibrated as you made your way there you check it once your in privacy, its just John, Daves derpy little crush

[ectoBiologist] began pestering [TimaeusTestified] 13: 43

EB: Yo, not sure if you will give shit or not but two things... one I'm as straight as a smuppets nose for your brother and two, he might just be about to bust out your feelings to Jake... :B

TT: WAIT! WHAT!

[ectoBiologist] ceased pestering [TimaeusTestified] 13;45

Shit, shit, shit, shit what where you going to do?! You finish up in the bathroom and flashstep out into the cafe, you see Jake shaking a bit, if that fucking little ironic red eyes shit thinks hes gonna fuck up what your planning to do, you will do more than strife on the roof tonight! You will kill the little runt, but for now you keep a straight face. You startle Jake when you add into the conversation not sure what Dave had said before Jake threw a reply back then disappeared into the back room to make you a latte, man you love his lattes, you wonder what else he can make...

"What the hell did you say to him!?" You growl lowly at your brother, he appears unfazed by your tone and posture he just throws his head back and laughs breathily...

"Oh we just had a chat about your pathetic smuppets you play around with like a two year old prostitute..." Dave chuckles so does the drunken blonde Roxy... fuckin' hell thank god you hope hes not lying to you! so you take a seat next to Rose and wait for your 'man' to return, you watch behind your shades that Dave is whispering to John and he nods firmly getting up off his chair and walking to the counter, he picks up the chalk board displaying todays barista and etc. he grabs a blue piece of chalk and scribbles something new on it, you can't see what it says until John places it back onto the counter and giggles like an idiot while sitting back down, its probably another prank of hi- oh... maybe not. You read over what the buck toothed boy has written about three times. Then Jake returns. You quickly get out your phone and send a message or two then stand up to leave.

=== Be the boy watching the love of your life stand and leave ===

"You returned with Dirks coffee as soon as you hand it to him he stands and smiles at you, before you made it to the table he was on his phone... odd then, but ok. He gets closer to you and out of nowhere kisses you lightly on the cheek, his hot lips gliding across your tan plump skin then whispers in your ear. "Hopefully Ill see you tonight Jakey" He again winks at you and makes his way out, you stand dumbfounded and then you hear your phone go off you read the message from Dirk.

[timaeustestified] began pestering [golgothasTerror] 13:52

TT: You know, you could have told me you had a thing for me sooner the would have been back at my place by now, join me for dinner my place tonight? 3 ;)

[timaeusTestified] ceased pestering [golgothasTerror] 13:52

You stare at your phone then at Dave like a fool of course he did what you think he did.

"Dave what witchcraft did you use on him?!" You ask morbidly curious. Then John pointed at the chalk board on the counter you go wide eyed.

"I hate you guys..."

_Today Your Barista Is : 1 Hella Fucking Gay. 2 Desperately Single. 3 Absolutely In Love With You._

_For your Drink Today I Recommend : You Ask Him The Hell Out Because Hes Going Fucking Bonkers For You!_

**And that my friends is it, Natalie I hope you enjoyed this and happy early birthday, I did this because unlike other people there are only two very special people in my life and YOU are one of them. So anyway, like, fav, review 3 cheers T-KOH :3 (A squel may be in order)**


End file.
